Food: My Drug Of Choice

Today was a hard day. For some reason I have been hungry ALL day. Even shortly after I ate, I was still hungry and couldn’t seem to get my fill.

The day didn’t start as it usually does. My boss called me in an hour and a half earlier than normal, so I didn’t get enough sleep. Not a great way to start the day. I ate breakfast earlier than usual and was fine until lunch. I ate lunch around 11:30, which is a little early for me considering that I don’t usually get home from work until at least 7:30. At around 2:00 I was already hungry and I knew if I didn’t eat something now, that I’d have a higher chance of giving in to eating something unhealthy later. So I got a grilled chicken salad from Wendy’s, which I ate at around 2:30. By 5:00 I was hungry again and at 5:45 I ate a small individual tuna cup instead of giving in to my stomachs desire which wanted an Arby’s roast beef or Tacos from Taco Bueno.

I knew the tuna cup would barely hold me over until dinner. On my drive home from Okmulgee to Tulsa all I could think about was food. I tried turning up the music, singing, thinking about stuff, whatever I could think of to distract my one track mind. Nothing helped. I felt mentally exhausted. I was tired. The last thing I wanted to do was come home and prepare dinner for myself.

At this point laziness had set in and I was determined to pick up something for dinner instead of going home and cooking something. I couldn’t stop thinking about pizza. And I mean every word I just said…I couldn’t stop thinking about pizza. It’s like my mind gets consumed with thoughts of food and I can’t break away from it. I decided to look up a place that sells individual pizzas and just look at the nutritional guide. If I was going to get a pizza, I was determined to at least put as much effort as I could into getting the healthiest pizza I could find.

I ended up getting a pizza from Top That Pizza. I chose their multigrain crust, spicy red sauce, grilled chicken, artichokes, turkey pepperoni, tomatoes, roasted garlic, green onions, and Canadian bacon. And of course a little low fat mozzarella cheese.

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That pizza really hit the spot. By getting pizza for dinner, I went over my 1800 a day calorie limit by 300 calories. I’m not exactly happy with myself for that, but I felt like I had this huge craving. If I tried to ignore the pizza craving, it just felt stronger and got harder.

I know not everyday is going to be easy, but this was definitely my first hard day. It was my first day of craving something really bad. Combine that with being tired and exhausted, you get a bad combo. I’m hoping that I can catch back up on my sleep tonight and that tomorrow will be a new day. I know I’m not perfect and I’m not going to eat perfect every single day. I’m going to try and not dwell on today or let it get me down. This was only one off day compared to my 34 good days.

The thing that scares me the most is that it only takes one bad meal for me to feel defeated and think about giving up. I’m trying hard to keep my head up and not ruin what I have worked so hard for over the past 5 weeks. So tomorrow is back to my healthy eating and cooking at home. My plan for tomorrow so that I don’t have another day like today is to have plenty of snacks on hand tomorrow. I’ll keep extra hummus and veggies, pickled okra, and string string in my lunch so that I can conquer tomorrow. Wish me luck, I’m going to need it! 🙂

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5 thoughts on “Food: My Drug Of Choice

  1. This is just one day in the midst of your life. Forgive yourself for making not the best choices (but certainly not the worst!) and move on to tomorrow. You can do it kiddo!

  2. Don’t fret and just keep on track like you’ve been doing! It WILL get easier… My suggestions: if there is any pizza left, throw it away so you don’t eat it tomorrow. And don’t forget that water helps fill you up too. And gum is always a nice distraction. Next time you crave pizza, try determining what part of the pizza you crave. If it’s the flavor of tomato sauce, try putting that on some spaghetti squash, for example.

    It’s just one day. Tomorrow is always a new start. Here’s where you get a lesson in motivating yourself by reminding yourself you know who you are and you can do anything you set out to do. Important lesson. Go get ’em.

    • There was no leftover pizza. It was just a small personal pizza. But great idea with trying to determine what part I’m craving and next time I’ll try that trick for sure.

      I listened to you and drank lots more water today. I’m back on track and today was a great food day. Thanks for the advice! 🙂

  3. My suggestion as was mentioned in another comment was try water to try to fight the feeling. Then I saw that pizza…I like pizza. Hard to chose water over that. Don’t beat yourself up, over it.

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