Life

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” – Allen Saunders

Life has been kinda crazy lately and I’m sorry I haven’t really been posting as often as I have in the past.

I have several excuses (good ones!). I took a short trip to Dallas to visit my sister this past weekend and to watch baby Ethan. I brought along the BFF and we had a great trip. We ate some delicious food, drank some of my favorite matcha tea from White Rock Coffee, and just had a really great time.

Immediately when I got back to Tulsa, things began to fall apart. First, I got in a wreck on my way home from picking up my dog at my dads, then the nice police man (sarcasm!) gave me a ticket for inattentive driving, then I called to see how much the ticket would be and I was told it was mandatory court for that type of ticket.

It’s going to cost me $250 to fix my car (thank God for great insurance and a SMALL deductible). I’m not sure how much the ticket will be but I’m budgeting $250 for it just in case. Who knows, it could be more! And now I’m also sitting here worried about having to go to court, something I’ve never done before, and I’m just stressed.

Ah, stressed, the key word there. I have been stressed a lot recently because of my job. Some extremely unfair things have been going on, causing my paychecks to be affected and it just seems completely unnecessary that it’s even happening. Nevertheless, it’s been the root of a lot of my stress. Add in all the other car stuff, and you end up eating chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy on your day off and completely forgetting about doing anything healthy, all because of stress.

Don’t fear though because today things are MUCH better! Yeah, I still have all that other stuff to deal with, but I’m feeling positive and I’m out of that small rut I got into. I hate to use the phrase “fell off the wagon” but I did indeed “fall off the wagon” for a few short days (5 to be exact.)

Today though, is a new day. I may have gained 4 pounds back, but I’m still extremely focused on losing weight and I have even set a new goal for myself. I’d love to see myself under 250 pounds, so I need to lose almost 50 pounds to reach my new goal.

Even though this past weekend was full of unhealthy delicious food, I’m still going to tell you about it. Trust me, it’s worthy of sharing!

On Saturday night, my sister paid for dinner for Megan and I since I was watching Ethan over night for her. She didn’t have to do that, I would have done it for free, but it was so nice of her to do that for us. Since we’d be in Plano, my sister suggested a few places and Meg and I decided on a place called Zanata.

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We both had a glass of red wine to start. Then, we shared the brussels sprouts hot appetizer which also had cauliflower, sweet potato, and bacon in it.

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It came with a delicious sauce we both loved and couldn’t figure out what it was. We asked and the waitress told us it was caesar dressing. Sounds weird but it was great on the brussels sprouts!

I ordered the Happy Hour pizza for my entree which had tequila pineapple, spec ham, bourbon onion, mozzarella, arugula, and crushed black pepper.

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I ate most of it (we shared) and this was all that remained.

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Sad little pizza slice sitting all by himself. 😦

Megan ordered one of their specials. It was a beef tri-tip with some fancy named noodles and a spinach pesto with some kind of cream sauce. It was also very delicious.

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Since we were treating ourselves, we also shared a dessert. We ordered the lemon basil cheesecake. It was sooooooo creamy and VERY yummy!

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Look at that creamy filling! It was the PERFECT balance of lemon, herb, and sweet.

If you’re ever in downtown Plano, TX, I suggest you try this place out!

The next day was filled with even more great food. We decided to start the day off right with our iced matcha green teas from White Rock Coffee and then head to Klyde Warren Park for some lunch from the food trucks.

We shared the banh mi tacos (my absolute favorite!) and 3 of the sliders from The Butchers Son food truck.

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We got the Mac-N Beefy, the Southern Hospitality, and the Dead Elvis sliders.

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These were really great! My favorite was the Dead Elvis with bacon, melted peanut butter, and melted Nutella. Mmmmm!

After the park, we went to Sprinkles to get a cupcake and we went to Dude, Sweet to get some chocolate. I heart this chocolate place so much. This time, I got a sampler box.

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Some of the chocolates tasted just like they said they would, and others fell kinda flat. Either way, it was fun trying all the cool flavors!

On our way out of town, we hit up The Container Store and drooled over all the different containers. It’s like they have containers for your containers! I could be so organized if I could afford to buy some of everything in that store. 🙂

Our last stop before leaving town was In-N-Out Burger.

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I’d never been before because we don’t have those in Tulsa so I thought I’d like to try it before we leave. I haven’t eaten red meat or burgers very often since I started losing weight. So I’m not sure if the burger was extremely delicious or if I just loved it because I hadn’t had a burger in so long! Haha, either way, it was tasty and I ate the whole thing.

Sadly, Megan and I had to come back home to Tulsa and back to reality. We really did have a great trip though and we found out that we vacation well together so we plan on vacationing together again for sure.

We’re both so addicted to matcha tea that who knows, maybe we’ll drive back down to Dallas soon for more!

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Valentine’s Day

“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”

For some, Valentine’s Day is a nice holiday. It’s filled with roses, chocolate, nice dinners, romance, and most of all, love.

For me, it’s just a reminder of how single I really am. You see, I pictured my life very different than what it is. Growing up I dreamed of marrying “the one” and having a cute house and then starting a family. I figured I’d be married by 23, have kids by 25, and live happily ever after. My fairy tale, sadly, has not come true. In fact, it’s pretty much the exact opposite.

I’ve had two serious relationships, one from age 16-20, and another from age 20-23. The first one I knew he wasn’t who I wanted to marry, so when he asked I said no. I was only 20 years old and I felt that I wasn’t ready. Remember, in my life plan, I wanted to marry at 23. The second relationship was so much different than the first. I loved him more than anything in the world and I just knew that we’d get married someday. As that relationship went on, it became more clear to me that I was looking towards marriage and he was looking for his freedom.

Sadly, we broke up. That breakup literally crushed me. I was broken for a very long time. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve been through. People use the term rock bottom, well that was my rock bottom. I cried often, I felt alone, I didn’t have any friends, and I was depressed. I remember I could hardly get through most days without calling my mom crying. I gained a lot of weight and I felt terrible about myself.

About two years ago, at age 25 and 1/2, I finally started to recover. Recover from my loss, from my breakup, from the hurt and pain I had been through. I finally had accepted the fact that it wasn’t meant to be with the ex-boyfriend. I finally got to the point where I didn’t need to know what he was doing. I didn’t need to Facebook stalk him anymore (haha, yeah I did that). I didn’t need to talk to him regularly. I was healing.

As I was moving on with my life after that relationship, I couldn’t help but think about how my weight affected it. He was pretty vocal about me being overweight and how he wanted me to change that. A lot of our arguments stemmed from my weight. He felt like I was choosing fast food over him, and I was. And I couldn’t change. I loved him so much and I still chose food over our relationship. I chose food over being happy. I chose food over getting married. And as long as I chose food, he wasn’t going to choose me.

At this point, I was angry with myself for letting my actions cost me someone I loved. It took until I was 26 and 1/2 to finally decide that I needed help to move past this hurdle in my life. I started going to a therapist every week to talk about things in my life. I talked a lot about my relationship and everything that had happened. It really helped me heal even more. I finally got to a place where I was content with the fact that I’m alone.

So yes, as I said in the beginning of this post, Valentine’s Day does remind me that I’m single. And I’m ok with that now. I’m focusing solely on me and I don’t have time for a guy in my life right now. When I DO meet the one, I want to be happy and healthy and I want him to have the best version of myself. And I’m getting there. And I know I’ll meet him someday, and I’ll have so much more to offer him than I would have in the past. And all of the pain and hurt I went through in the past will all be worth it, because it will make me a stronger, better person in the end.